I Left My Heart In San Diego
I still remember the moment I realized I was officially getting too old for Real World. I was watching Season 10, which after googling it I realized was the season they went back to New York. (as if there weren't and still aren't a zillion other interesting places they could venture to for the first time.) Anyway, I was watching the show faithfully at the time because I was also writing a weekly column of recaps.
The following is a real conversation for an actual episode of the Real World:
Boy: "I just need to like, you need to realize that like you're not, I mean."
Girl: "No, whatever."
Boy: "It's not gonna like- you know what I mean?"
Girl: "Yeah. No. It's cool. No, I'm fine."
Boy: "Do you understand that?"
Girl: "No. Yeah. I totally understand it."
Well I'm sure as hell glad THEY understood each other because they officially lost me at the first "like".
And it all went downhill from there.
I tried out for Real World once. (Did I just type write that out loud?) I have my own theories as to why I didn't make the cut.
1. They like to pick people who exude originality. They think this originality starts with your name. My name, as we all know, is Janet. Turns out they already had a cast member named Janet (see RW Seattle). It was doomed from the start.
2. I flat out told them I wasn't the crazy one. I tried to market myself as a stereotype they didn't have yet. But since Bunim Murray Productions STILL do not acknowledge that they do indeed partake in stereotypical casting endeavors (hello? cast members get together now and immediately LOOK for the gay one), that probably didn't go over well either.
3. I refused to be considered for Road Rules. I was all like, "Ok no. You are not getting me to bungee jump off a ferris wheel with cotton candy covering my eyes or some stupid shit like that." Whatever. I was always told honesty was the best policy.
4. I wasn't cool enough. I hate to say it, but it's true. I'm not gay. I don't have cystic fibrosis. My parents are STILL together. How very vanilla of me.
Now I know I'm getting old when the show has that "been there, done that" vibe.
When the Real World becomes the polar opposite of what is actually real? Yeah, that's the time to pack it up.