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"This is the most exciting day of my life...and I was pulled on stage once to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert."
30 Rock


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Monday, August 02, 2004

Indian Dudes Tear Up The Movies

So, I saw M. Night Shyamalan's The Village this weekend. I went on opening night...I was THAT excited. Despite some wary critics, I have loved M. Night's three previous films and his Hitchcockian approach to filmmaking. I haven't been this into one writer/director since John Hughes won my accolades with his slew of teenage anthem films. Of course, Hughes then subsequently broke my heart when he sold out and started making family fun fare, but to all good things there must be an end, right?

Well, in the case of M. Night, (I'm omitting his last name on purpose folks, as I'm lazy and hate having to cut and paste it every 2 seconds considering it's too damn hard to spell) I am currently fighting the notion that this is indeed true. You might have heard this already, but The Village, in a not so grown up but completely apropos word, sucked. There were a few main reasons I hated this film.

1. Inaudible phrasing- perhaps it was just the theater I was in but most of the time I found myself hearing random cell phones ringing rather than the actual dialogue.

2. Bryce Dallas Howard- Hollywood's newest, and by NO means nepotistically chosen ingenue. It's not so much her fault necessarily. See the chick is supposed to be blind (ha ha, see) but she can "see" people based on their "color" or aura. This bit about the aura I will buy, but what I didn't buy was her BLATANTLY LOOKING AT actors in the movie. Aura watching or not, I've seen blind folks portrayed on film before and for some reason, this came off like a sham to me.

3. William Hurt- EW said it best when they referenced William Hurt's...own...brand...of unusual...phrasing...and timing...when....he speaks. This is by no means unique to The Village, but it still bothered me here more than usual.

4. THE Twist- Anyone who knows M. Night's history knows his trademark is the twists he includes in his movies. I won't discuss the twist here. The reasons for this are simple. For one thing, you might have not seen the movie. For another, you might have seen an incredibly lame twist that merely made you want to throw things at the screen and/or demand your $9.00 or so, back.

But for every brooding, slightly Blair Witchian mystery, there is a Dude Where's My Car?, high on "life" counterpart. The movie I am talking about here is Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. First of all let me make it clear that I haven't seen this movie, so I cannot truly say whether it is worthy of a jeer or a cheer, but I can say I WANT to see this movie if only for the Neil Patrick Harris cameo I saw in the trailers.

Also, it should be said that I went to middle school with the now up and coming actor, Kal Penn. Known as Kalpen Modi, I didn't really know him, but a friend of mine pointed him out to me a few weeks ago. As a special treat, here is his 8th grade class picture, a bad scan job I might add, done personally by yours truly.

sorry Kal, but we've all been there Posted by Hello

Perhaps the then quiet Kal had the last laugh as he eeriely signed my friend's yearbook by saying something to the effect of "save this signature since I'm gonna be famous one day."

I can see it now. "Kal Penn. I'm gonna live forever. Baby, remember my name."



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