Taking Over The World, Nine Lives At A Time
But then I got to know a cat a little bit better and realized I had to issue a formal apology to all the cats out there. In my mind, a stereotypical cat is anti-social, doesn't play well with others and, not unlike Paris Hilton, seems to think only of themselves. But what I had been exhibiting, unbeknownst to me, was a form of cat racism, not to be confused with catechism which is another matter entirely.
In fact, over the past few weeks, I realized two very important things:
1. Not all cats are created equal.
2. Cats are about to take over the world.
While getting to know this one cat, I realized that cats can be affectionate and receptive when given a fair shake of the paw. Not only that, I think that I'm actually a lot more like a cat then I am a dog. Dogs love or hate everyone right off the bat. Cats might feel this way too, but they do so deep down, keeping cool. Cats know the score. They're selective about the company they keep. That my friends, is cool.
Cats are also a bit standoffish. I can be standoffish. I know you're off somewhere shaking your head in disbelief, but it's true. I need awhile to warm up to other humans. I don't like uninvited human contact. I think personal space is aces. But, once I get to know you, just like a cat, I'll cut the catnip with ya anytime.
Cats can also converse. Some cats make a clear meow sound. Not the cat I hung with. I think she truly believed you were picking up what she was putting down.
My friend: What do you want?
My friend: Do you want to go outside?
My friend: Are you hungry?
My friend: What? What do you want?!
It's silly to get angry. In reality it can only be one of five things: food, water, catnip, a cuddle or to simply be set free. Cats like living the simple life. Hey, yet another Paris Hilton connection!
But regardless of how you feel about cats I am here to tell you one thing. Cats are about to take over the world. Don't believe me? Just go blog surfing. There are blogs. Slews of 'em, all devoted to their prrrfection. Want a calendar, a key chain, a mug, a t-shirt, a notebook, a radio hell, ANYTHING? They make it with a cat on it, guaranteed. And there are books, ENTIRE SERIES, in fact with cats as the main character. Hear me now, believe it later.
So my advice to you would be to get on this cat bandwagon sooner rather than later. Sure dogs are fun, but cats man, they've got nine lives so if you're not on board,and I mean quick, payback may be a real bitch.