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"This is the most exciting day of my life...and I was pulled on stage once to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert."
30 Rock


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Monday, May 30, 2005

Tommy, Can You Hear Me?

So I was trying really hard to be quiet about this Tom Cruise/Katie Holmes "romance". I don't know why I bothered to even try though, because it was all in vain.

First, the obvious. Yes, it is a little creepy that they're dating. Ok, maybe more than a little. In fact, the only people who don't think it's creepy are men that wish they could secretly (or not so secretly) do the same. To me, it's almost like he's dating my college roommate. You know the one I never actually knew, but watched for four years while I was in college so I feel like I know, ya know?

So since I kinda sorta know you Katie, let me give you a piece of advice. Don't fall for Tom. Luckily, I'm not the only one who feels this way. I know he's dreamy in a "Take My Breath Away, Make Me A Cocktail, Risky Business" kinda way, but all of us girls in the know know that men like Tom aren't a catch without there being... a catch. I'm not saying anything about what the catch could possibly be. By the way, you haven't introduced Tom to James Van Der Beek yet, have you? I was just wondering.

Anyway all I'm trying to say is Tom seems like a nice enough man's man and you, a nice enough girl. Yet we both know you don't always use the best judgment when it comes to men, (although you did once make a wise choice in Pacey) But together, you and Tom don't exactly conjure up the phrase, "You Complete Me".

Still, I could have handled all of this until I saw the Ground Control To Major Tom moment that broke the camel's back. In this clip, you'll note Tom is neither "sane" nor "coherent". Discuss. Oprah may have thought this new, quirky Tom was a delight, but personally I haven't been this weirded out by a celebrity since Howard Dean had his now infamous Woo! transformation.

In fact, if I didn't know any better, I'd think Tom was acting like this was the first time he'd ever felt this way for a girl. And we all know that can't be possible, right?



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