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"This is the most exciting day of my life...and I was pulled on stage once to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert."
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Monday, October 17, 2005

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

Like millions of Americans, I got roped into the ABC drama Lost when it premiered last year. I started watching the show, like many of you, because ABC told me to. They said it was THE show of the season. With a recommendation like that, who am I to resist?

But now that we are ankle deep into another season, I'm beginning to tire of the predictable unpredictability of Lost.

For those of you who don't watch, just sit right back and you'll hear a tale, a tale of a fateful trip. It all began when The plane! The plane!, containing a myriad of kooky strangers, crashed on an equally kooky and strange island.

Almost immediately after they crash, the survivors realized they were not alone. Now how many actual survivors there are remains a mystery, but the show revolves around about 10 central characters.

But because these people are stranded on an island and making a two way radio out of coconuts will only barely take the storylines into sweeps, Lost has made use of the very powerful, very evasive "flashback" technique. The band Semisonic once said, "Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end." The same adage applies to Lost, only where one storyline ends and another one begins is anyone's guess.

Every week the "flashback" technique is utilizied in effort's to reveal more bits and pieces of the huge Rubik Cube of a plot. Only the problem is that by revealing more of the puzzle, they are thereby confusing viewers even more. Just when you think the story is going right, it goes left. Some would call this clever storytelling, others would call this make it up as you go along.

Which brings me to the main problem I have with Lost. Cause if there's one thing Lost has succeeded in doing, it's losing me week after week. It's one of those shows that you frustratingly can't look away from, even for a second. No five minute phone calls or lingering bathroom breaks with this one. No Lost is like a toddler in diapers, demanding your full attention the entire time it's on. If you wander off, even for a minute, you'll spend at least an episode and a half trying to catch up. I know because it's already happened to me.

But here's the real kicker-- it's even more frustrating if you're actually paying attention the whole time. Watching Lost is like eating Chinese food. Sure, you feel full for like a minute, but once you digest, you realize you didn't even eat that much. Lost is the hibachi dinner of television. It throws a lot at you, but little of it is of any worth.

A little over a season into it and here's what I know:

1. There was a plane crash, maybe.
2. Some people lived. Perhaps.
3. Some people died. Sorta.
4. Some people are good.
5. Other people are bad.
6. A day can be drawn out to last episodes and episodes.
7. Terry O' Quinn always kicks ass.
8. The boy is special in a "I See Dead People" sorta way.
9. They are not alone.
10. Fat people don't lose as much weight as you might think in those first 40 days.
11. Women stranded on an island immediately stop complaining about "their time of the month".
12. Razors are never used, but the island makes you mysteriously clean shaven.
13. Matthew Fox, was, is and will always be Charlie from Party of Five.
14. Seemingly, nothing is as it seems.

All this aside, I still watch Lost , at least for now, but I can't help but thinking that when this all ends, and it will all end, eventually, that we'll all stare straight into the television, open mouthed and wide eyed screaming, "That's it?!"

Oh and all that I just wrote above? Rinse and repeat this time next year for



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