I Still Haven't Found What I'm (Not) Looking For
I wish I could say that I've filled that time only with things that are productive and meaningful, but I would be lying. Oh sure I have managed to do some things that are productive and meaningful, but it is summer after all, and what would summer be without a little loafing around in good proportion to crossing off things from the never ending "to do" list.
What I have found myself doing, more often than not is living in the past. I know what you're thinking. Me, waxing nostalgic?! Nooo! But alas, it's true. And what better way to feed the monkey then to make daily visits to the Disneyland of retrospectives, You Tube.com.
It started innocently enough. For years now I've gone to You Tube to check on a memory or two. Yes, we go way back, You Tube and I. In fact, many a time is has "had my back" In the Write Back Weekend department here at AOGB. Sure I could tell you all about how great Phil Collins and his videos used to be or I could go on and on about how much I loved Wesley on Mr. Belvedere, but wouldn't you rather just go and see for yourself? I always thought so.
But lately something has changed. You Tube and I have changed. Let me try to draw an analogy for what I'm going through. You Tube is like that best friend that you always knew was there, but one day you woke up and realized just how beautiful she really was and how you had been taking her for granted all along. Overnight things have turned around. I guess I could say the search is over, but You Tube was with me all the time.
Yet in a weird way, the search is what keeps me coming back for more. One memory leads to another memory which leads to another and another. Sometimes it isn't even old memories I'm making, but new ones and silly ones at that due to nonsensical gems like this. From old soap opera story lines to children shows long forgotten, You Tube has it all.
The great thing about You Tube is that the search, virtually never ends. One door leads to another and so on.
The bad thing about You Tube is that the search, virtually never ends. One door leads to another and so on.
See my dilemma?
Thankfully, ten months out of the year I have a job that allows me to be a spoke in the wheel of society. It gets me out of the house, pays the bills and now I know most importantly, keeps me away from You Tube. Because right now, the way things stand, there is only a mouse click and a wireless connection separating me from my voyeuristic binges.
It's not that I don't have other things to do or there aren't other things I should be doing, but it's much easier to melt hours away, passing the time in the closest thing any of us have to time travel. You Tube users dredge up the past in a way only a pop culture freak like me could appreciate. I suppose they are the only segment of the population spending more time on sites like You Tube than I am. This is because they have to take the time to upload all of the videos that they do. For the uploads that have come before, and those that are yet to come, I am eternally grateful.
While it has been rather therapeutic admitting my addiction in such a public forum, in the end I'm like any other addict. I see what my You Tube addiction is doing to me and yet in some way, I really don't care. I know I can stop at any time. Really. In the meantime though what's the harm in a little good, old fashioned searching?