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"This is the most exciting day of my life...and I was pulled on stage once to dance at a Bruce Springsteen concert."
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Friday, February 02, 2007

AOGB Classic: There's No Business Like Snow Business

Unfortunately with parties, report cards and lesson planning (though not necessarily in that order) I was unable to sit down and write a new post for today. You know, for all ten of you who have been, God bless you, faithfully reading this site?

So, in lieu of a new post, I hope you'll except this repeat from last February all about the wacky world of snow. With a potential slushy commute on my hands tomorrow it seemed more than appropriate.

No matter what is going on in the world, I find it funny how weather-related stories soak up so much on air time. If you are a semi-famous celebrity who happens to die around a big snowstorm? You're lucky if you get a mention sandwiched in between how much snow will fall and how much snow has fallen. Water, be it snow, rain or ice, is such a publicity whore.

This past weekend, the tri state area was hit hard with the first significant snowfall of the season. Up until now, winter had been remarkably mild with barely a hint of a flake in sight.

A few days before a potentially "big storm" meteorologists everywhere are always clamoring for the exclusive, Barbara Walters like scoop on...snow. Will it snow this weekend? If so, how much? How long? And how much will be outside the window? The one one mixed with rain, sleet and hail? Snow! I love you! Over here!

This leads me to something that irks me; What is the study of meteorology anyway? Apparently meteorologists are scientists who interpret the weather and atmospheric science. I don't know about you but I'd like more detail as to what they are "interpreting" because as far as I can see meteorologists, Huh. What are they good for? Absolutely nothing.

I understand that the weather can be an unpredictable creature, but you would think with all the advances we've made in the world that at least meteorologists today would be able to tell us if it was going to snow tomorrow, but they can't. All they can give us is a definite maybe.

In my book, definite maybe is only acceptable under certain circumstances. Will Arrested Development come back next season? Definitely maybe. Will I go on vacation this summer? Definitely maybe. These are questions where "definitely maybe" is an acceptable answer because there are numerous factors that are out of my hands at this point.

Snow plays games with meteorologists. One step to the right and we get a foot of snow, one step to the left and we just get rain. In the world of meteorology it's always anyone's game. And I get it. The meteorologists just don't know if it will snow. So you snow what? Why do these people get paid to not tell us what they don't know? Why do we need meteorologists to tell us what we can figure out for ourselves?

For instance, when it's about to snow, I often feel a little under the weather (no pun intended). I also notice that just before it's about to snow, the sky gets grayer and the weather is not all that cold. I did not go to school to figure these things out. I have just been living and walking around the state of New Jersey for the last 28 years and put two and two together.

And what about the meteorologists that live in warmer climates like California? Where's the conundrum in that?! There's always two choices, sunny or partly sunny. Ok, sometimes it rains. But it will defintely maybe always be sunny. Yes, de- def, definitely maybe. I'm an excellent describer.

Then, when the weather finally does whatever it decides to do, the meterorologists surface again and again to regurgitate mundane snow related updates: It snowed. This is how much it snowed. Here's a guy shoveling that snow. Here's an idiot who tried to drive in that snow. Look at all the places that are closed because of snow.

Yes, it seems the only thing that's certain in the partly wacky world of weather is that no matter when or where, snow always has a 100% chance of being a topic of conversation.



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